Minerva McTabby ([info]mctabby) wrote,
@ 2005-05-11 15:46:00
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Snape: Wizard or Chicken?
Let's talk about the Lie/Lay Hex. (Again.) Last month, [info]thistlerose posted a nice systematic explanation of lay versus lie, with Sirius/Remus examples: here. I won't repeat what she said so well, but I'd like to offer an extra incentive for people to pay attention, by looking at the chicken aspect.

See, when the Lie/Lay Hex strikes, writers often end up implying that their characters are laying eggs. Please consider this: Do you really want readers to suddenly think of chickens, right in the middle of your hot smut scene? (If yes, kindly disregard this advice, and have a nice day.)

Here are a few sentences with and without Chicken!Snape implications.

Snape is a chicken.Snape is not a chicken.
Snape lowered himself to lay on top of Lupin.Snape lowered himself to lie on top of Lupin.
Snape and Hermione were laying on the floor.Snape and Hermione were lying on the floor.
"Don't just lay there, Snape," moaned Minerva. "Take me!""Don't just lie there, Snape," moaned Minerva. "Take me!"
Snape and Harry laid on the bed and cuddled.Snape and Harry lay on the bed and cuddled.
"Lay on your side, Severus," said Draco suggestively."Lie on your side, Severus," said Draco suggestively.
I've laid under the Dark Lord for the last time, Snape thought.I've lain under the Dark Lord for the last time, Snape thought.

*waves cheerily, offers chocolate* And that's enough grammar-prodding from me. :D

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[info]ashfae
2005-05-11 11:54 am UTC (link)
Such beautiful, beautiful images of Chicken!Snape...

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[info]sinden
2005-05-11 11:55 am UTC (link)
I just snarfed my cordial. Thanks so much. :)

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[info]vassilissa
2005-05-11 11:57 am UTC (link)
Snape and Hermione were laying on the floor.

Now I want a couple of pet chooks named Snape and Hermione. Except that I don't like chooks and I don't eat eggs.

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[info]ellid
2005-05-11 01:32 pm UTC (link)
Maybe a pair of stuffed chickens with eggs? Could be a nice Easter display.

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[info]zoepaleologa
2005-05-11 11:59 am UTC (link)
There's a lot of smut out there that would be roundly improved by thinking of anything rather than the actual proceedings being described. And sadly, I often get to look at it.

With that in mind, given as I often have to read smut whether I feel like it, or not, and make a decision, thinking about chickens* has the potential to be helpful to the level of therapeutic.

Of course, I'd bounce back anything with Severus laying on general principal, unless it's MPREG, but Hell's bells, anything that gets me through it...

*Of course with bad smut, sometimes we have to think of the pussies, too.

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[info]ellid
2005-05-11 12:46 pm UTC (link)
Hey, he could always get pregnant in his animagus form as a wereflamingo and set a nice clutch of baby birdies....

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]persephone_kore, 2005-05-11 08:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slythwolf, 2005-05-11 09:05 pm UTC

[info]empy
2005-05-11 12:07 pm UTC (link)
Now my head is full of images of disgruntled coots (Fulica atra) sneering "Can't one get a moment's privacy? I'll have you know that these eggs are very delicate."

Because my avian!Snape looks just like a coot.

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[info]amberdiceless
2005-05-11 12:32 pm UTC (link)
Hmm. Well he's certainly got the beak for it. And the easily-ruffled feathers.

Now you've got me wondering just what Severus' Animagus form would be...

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[info]meri_oddities
2005-05-11 12:32 pm UTC (link)
HaHaHa... I love Chicken!Snape. Unfortunately, the people who really need this aren't going to get it. Or if they do, they aren't going to care. *sigh*

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[info]strangefrontier
2005-05-11 12:34 pm UTC (link)
Snape and Harry laid on the bed and cuddled.

I actually misread that as "Snape and Harry laid on the bed and clucked." This poultry connection really does dig itself into the subconscious...

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]ellid
2005-05-11 12:47 pm UTC (link)
Better than them laying on the bed and plucking each other's feathers....

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]strangefrontier, 2005-05-11 01:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lonesomepioneer, 2005-05-11 01:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashavah, 2005-05-11 01:57 pm UTC
Sing along... - [info]sinick, 2005-05-11 03:28 pm UTC
Re: Sing along... - [info]slythwolf, 2005-05-11 09:09 pm UTC
Re: Sing along... - [info]sinick, 2005-05-11 09:59 pm UTC
Re: Sing along... - [info]ariadneelda, 2005-05-12 03:13 am UTC
HA!
[info]lonesomepioneer
2005-05-11 01:02 pm UTC (link)
This will greatly improve my fanfic-reading experience, since every time a grammatically-challenged smut-thor attempts a pairing of badness, I will now picture clucking and cackling and flapping of wings. And there will be much rejoicing.

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[info]amelia_eve
2005-05-11 01:30 pm UTC (link)
This is the lunar year of the rooster, you know.

(I find poor usage particularly disturbing when attributed to Minerva. Tut.)

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[info]fasterthanlight
2005-05-11 02:45 pm UTC (link)
*weeps with laughter*

Oh, thank you ever so much. That positively made my day.

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[info]thistlerose
2005-05-11 03:43 pm UTC (link)
*splutters* I'm going to be giggling about Chicken!Snape for the rest of the day I fear.

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[info]kizzib
2005-05-11 03:59 pm UTC (link)
btw, "lay" in scots language means shagging.

"I will lay with her"

a saying that goes back centuries, here in scotland.

Just in case you were interested...

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[info]ex_greythist387
2005-05-11 08:53 pm UTC (link)
Truly? If you've references for that, you might write to the OED editors and help them out. Colloquial uses of verbs whose vowels shift around a bit (cf. "sit" and "set"), esp. in those strong/weak intransitive/transitive pairs, are kind of idiosyncratic.

"I will lie with her" is perfectly good usage historically; "getting laid" is formed from a use of "lay" that includes a transitive object.

(In OED2 it's lay v.1, def I.2.b., which is twentieth-century US only. There's a potentially relevant note at VII.43: "In the earliest examples the verb appears to be intransitive for reflexive or passive." Your example is neither, though.)

</pedant>

(Reply to this) (Parent)
chikkin
[info]annephoenix
2005-05-11 04:51 pm UTC (link)
This *really* made me laugh... because this morning I got projectile laid on.
I had just stuffed a chicken into the plastic traffic cone that is the body weight scale (it sounds nasty, but you can't just ask a chicken to sit on some scales - they don't seem to mind too much), so just whatever's left of the tail feathers & the legs were sticking out of the back of the cone... and suddenly wheeeeeeeeeeeee comes flying out of the cone and into me - an egg!

The chicken weight 70g less afterwards, so the egg was 10g above average.

What a waste of breakfast...

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: chikkin
[info]telepwen
2005-05-11 05:24 pm UTC (link)
This story made my day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: chikkin - [info]annephoenix, 2005-05-11 09:23 pm UTC
Re: chikkin - [info]mulberryfields, 2005-05-11 09:06 pm UTC
Re: chikkin - [info]harrismint, 2005-05-12 02:17 am UTC

[info]innerslytherin
2005-05-11 05:47 pm UTC (link)
*snerks* Thank you so much. I needed this. I believe I shall point my RPG cohorts to this post. ^_^

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[info]maexle
2005-05-11 05:49 pm UTC (link)
Thank you very much! I didn't only laugh about the images you've created, but I think I've really learned the difference now. And that's something I'm really grateful for. For a German this "lay - lie" thing is very difficult because we have only one word for "to lay - to lie". And I actually could never find someone who explained the difference between the two English words clearly to me.

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[info]sor_bet
2005-05-11 06:02 pm UTC (link)
This topic reminds me of my great-aunt, the quintessential old-maid schoolteacher, who taught English. On a couple of different occasions, she went over the "lay" vs. "lie" distinction with me. Maybe I'd used "lay" incorrectly; I can't remember.

On one hand, I think she'd be happy to know that people today do understand the correct usage and are helping others to understand it. On the other hand, I think she'd be HORRIFIED to discover the subject matter involved in said usage. :-D

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[info]lunadeath02
2005-05-11 06:06 pm UTC (link)
I've always been confused before as to when I should use the word 'laid' or 'lain'. I think I get the gist of it now. ^.^ ... maybe.

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[info]vvvexation
2005-05-11 06:42 pm UTC (link)
Do you really want readers to suddenly think of chickens, right in the middle of your hot smut scene?

Yes! For the love of all that's holy, won't somebody think of the poor chickens?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]slythwolf
2005-05-11 09:16 pm UTC (link)
Every time you write a badfic, God kills a chicken.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]vvvexation, 2005-05-11 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slythwolf, 2005-05-13 03:17 am UTC

[info]finmagik
2005-05-11 07:00 pm UTC (link)
*Does the funk Chicken Snape .*

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[info]alasandalack
2005-05-11 11:02 pm UTC (link)
in our stories, it's Harry who's frequently the chicken :-) thanks for reminder.

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[info]amanuensis1
2005-05-11 11:34 pm UTC (link)
Wait a minute--I come in here, 37 comments in, and no one's made a "Snape Is Not A Chicken" icon? Bloody lay-abouts. (NOT lie-abouts.)

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[info]jetamors
2005-05-11 11:36 pm UTC (link)
I've laid under the Dark Lord for the last time, Snape thought.

*snerk* I don't think I'll ever get the image of Voldemort as the mean farmer from Chicken Run out of my head now. Instead of Crucio, he'd turn the disloyal Death Eaters into pies *giggles* And Lucius would be the rooster who pretends he can fly... or would that be Dumbledore?

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[info]azriona
2005-05-12 01:25 am UTC (link)
Oh, jeez. If I didn't have to go to work in ten minutes, I would be making the funniest Chicken Run/Snape icon right now....

Now everyone at work is going to want to know why I'm giggling, and I won't want to tell them!

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[info]angevin2
2005-05-12 03:01 am UTC (link)
Here through [info]hogwarts_today...

And now I can't get those ghastly "Chicken Boo" cartoons from Animaniacs out of my head.

"You wear a disguise to look like wizard guys,
But you're not a man -- you're a Chicken Snape!"

Okay, so it doesn't rhyme.

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[info]the_mystic_s
2005-05-12 04:38 pm UTC (link)
Animaniacs and Snape love? I love the internet! Oh, and by the way, I had to tell you that your improv has planted the evil seed in my head now. And, throughout the day, I'll be replacing regular!Snape with Chicken!Snape...should make for some interesting scenes. I'm pathetic. You have a great day. That is all. /mania

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]dudley_doright
2005-05-12 03:13 am UTC (link)
*is without breath from the laughing*

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