Time demanded by RL: high.
Time available for LJ: low.
Creativity hovering around zero.
Overall mood: frustrated, grumpy, and useless.

Many thanks to prillalar for this moment of amusement: the Drabble-Matic produced some Peeves/Snape for me.


To Eagerly Lick

Peeves and Snape were celebrating a warm Valentine's Day together. Peeves had cooked a yummy dinner and they ate in the dungeons by candlelight.

"My darling," Snape said, stroking Peeves's bum, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Peeves. "It is but a sexy token of my long love."

Peeves opened the box. Inside was a tacky dungbomb! He gazed at it shyly. Then he gazed at Snape shyly. "It's spectacular," Peeves said. "Come here and let me lick you."

Just then, a pallid crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a shrivelfig exploding in a sticky shower of delight. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a tasty voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Snape read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other sadly as the crone cackled some more. Peeves's leg began to tremble. Then Snape shrugged, pulled out a wand, and hit the crone on her neck. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Peeves said and kissed Snape nervously. "This is a virile Valentine's Day!"

They happily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they licked each other all night long.